Whenever I watch television, I constantly pause the show, declaring out loud, ‘This would make a great sermon!’ – much to my wife’s chagrin. A beautiful example of this sermon fodder occurs in the show “Kim’s Convenience,” which depicts the Korean-Canadian Kim family, who run a convenience store in Toronto. The show focuses on the family’s life as they interact with customers in their store, depicting dramatic yet resonant family relationships. While watching “Kim’s Convenience,” one episode brought me right to the High Holy Day season, because it strikingly explores the purpose of teshuvah, namely, how forgiveness realistically manifests itself in our lives.
In this scene, Appa (Korean for ‘father’) recovers from a post-op removal of a cancerous lump. Jung, his estranged son, visits him in the hospital. After years of not talking, Jung and his father discuss the painful decision that, because of the surgery, the family store needed to be closed for the first time in 20 years. Appa reveals that they actually have closed the store once before: when Jung was young and needed his appendix removed. Jung begins to share the importance of this revelation, but Appa, still loopy from the pain medication, falls asleep. Jung smiles, and the scene ends.
This is one of the most beautiful moments in the entire show, because it authentically depicts forgiveness between father and son. Forgiveness is not a magical spell that fixes all past deeds. Rather, it’s something innately human.
This scene illustrates how Appa and Jung practice forgiveness through vulnerability. As viewers, we hoped for a beautiful reconciliation, but that doesn’t come. There are no big performances where Appa and Jung hug it out with a happy family reunion. Instead, when Appa finally comes to, he doesn’t remember his son’s visit. But he does find a pen from Jung’s work on his bedside table and comments on his pride to his attending nurse.
These simple exchanges illustrate the impact of the characters’ vulnerability with each other. Jung’s visit took time and courage to perform the mitzvah of bikkur cholim, visiting the bedside of his estranged father. Appa’s warmth cooled a decade-long tension, allowing him to kvell over his son with strangers with newfound ease. Appa and Jung want to improve their relationship, but they don’t try to erase the past in order to build a stronger future. Instead, they demonstrate forgiveness in its purest form: uplifting their sacred connection.
I aspire to live like Appa and Jung, finding the courage, humility, and faith to embrace the honesty of forgiveness. Luckily, that’s why we have the yearly fast of Yom Kippur. From Kol Nidrei to Neilah, our 25-hour day of atonement brings us into the recesses of our souls. Once there, we can find the sensitivity within to cultivate vulnerable acts of connection. It takes courage to show up when our presence is doubtful. And a smile and a gentle grasp of the hand create trust in a unified future where pain will be replaced by comfort. The rituals of Yom Kippur implore us to embrace this style of forgiveness because it uplifts our most sacred relationships. With this vulnerability and courage, forgiveness is not only a ritual to clean the slate but also a way to build a stronger, loving, and joyful relationship with those we care most about.
Shana Tova u’Metukah! Your friends at Temple Tiferet Shalom wish you a year filled with renewed energy and courage to strengthen your relationship with the sacred act of forgiveness.
Rabbi Evan Sheinhait leads Temple Tiferet Shalom of the North Shore in Peabody.
